How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours – Wayne Dyer

Relationships are everywhere. Work, home, pets, friends, family… Everywhere you look, turn, and run there are relationships there to support you or there are relationships there to dethrone you.

Something that has been difficult for me to understand and grasp fully, is that you can never control the other person. You may not understand or know how the other person is feeling. You can’t always understand why the person does what they do. You can’t dictate how they react. Most importantly You Cannot Change The Past.

Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home.. it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it

-Chuck Palahniuk

I was in an extremely toxic relationship for roughly five years. It was on and off, if you can relate. It was not physically abusive, though mentally and verbally it fit the bill.

It broke me.

I kept going back and kept thinking there was something wrong with me. I felt that this person, just like I was doing for them, had my best interest at heart.

I would only feel secure when he showed me affection. When it was absent I would spiral into deep dark depression thinking “What am I doing wrong to not receive his love?” Yet, as I look back his love was only empty promises, empty lines, empty “I love you’s”, “I will never leave you”, “You are everything to me”

Then, after the second time I caught him speaking to one of his exes, I realized how I was walking on eggshells. How I was living a fraction of my life. Most of it in fear. The other half in false hope. Every time we would break up, or I felt the strength to walk away, I would come back because I wanted to feel that love, appreciation, affection. Only to feel like I had made the worst decision and wondering if he was messaging anyone else.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go – Hermann Hesse

I remember the times we would separate or argue. I wasn’t able to eat, sleep, I felt scared, and I felt alone. I know I had so many people in my “corner” telling me how this was better for me and he had done me a favor. All I could think of was how desperate I felt to get him back or figure out why I wasn’t good enough for him.

 I was scared to be alone. I was scared of only having myself. I didn’t have many close friends any more due to isolating myself throughout the relationship. Also, loosing many disapproving friends. Though, through these times I would start to work on myself. Lean on books by Louise Hay, Gabby Bernstein and Wayne Dyer. Started exercising, eating well and feeling much happier. Which is usually when the timing came for him to come right back into my world.

Finally the end…

It was December 2015, he was distant, abrasive, and short with me. He stayed out with “friends” and slept on the couch. The inevitable happened. He broke it off with me. I remember that Thursday night. Crying and begging him to work on things and that I was sorry for whatever I may have done. That Friday morning driving his kids to school saying goodbye for good, my things in tow.

Not realizing that this definitely a God send.
I  slowly started to improve yet again.  Even though I was feeling better about myself, I still had a long way to go. Which then I noticed I was trying to use other relationships as a safety net. My heart has been broken many times. My mind is still broken. Which tends to spiral me into the black abyss.  All of these distractions that add to the depression that overlays my external persona.
I still battle with anxiety and depression and it can create tension in all relationships that I have. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of responding incorrectly. Fear of hurting someone. Fear of acting like I am better than someone else.

There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go – Jessica Hatchigan

These thoughts are on a negative reel that plays in my head daily. It affects me the most when I am romantically with someone. I lash out when I feel down on myself. I break out in tears when I feel overwhelmed. I am accusatory. I have nights I want to curl under the covers and ignore everyone and maybe sleep for two days straight. Then be upset that I wasted valuable time. I hate myself because I can see my anxiety causing issues yet I can’t control it as easily as I would like.

So this is where I am – trying to make sense of things that don’t make sense. Working with a therapist and trying to use other outlets, such as blogging, to help release these negative thoughts and hopefully reaching someone else. Maybe shedding some light to others that are close to me. Which when reading this they will go “That is why you are doing that” It is me trying to be strong and transparent, loving and compassionate, supportive and brave for all those other struggling with similar situations.

To understand how to treat depression we must first touch base on what Depression truly is.

Honestly, it is different for everyone.

Recently I finished reading a book by Jenny Lawson named Furiously Happy it really opened my eyes. This book explained to me many things that I have personally dealt with and what others struggle with even more than I ever have.

I realized that this illness isn’t like breast cancer or leukemia. It isn’t treated this way either. Once someone gets out of a depression spell no one is there to cheer them on or tell them what an inspiration they have been.

Then, just like that, the depression, numbness, feeling alone, anxiety and nervous feelings are back for round two. Making sure they lie to you to make you feel worthless and sometimes think of really horrible things to do to yourself.

Sometimes depression can be brought on because of a distressing or traumatic event. If this is the case, then it is more then likely that the people and situations who are associated become referred to as traumatic triggers.

A common example of this is when someone we love passes. The individual must take proper time to grieve their loss and to process unfinished feelings about the deceased. Depression may set in almost immediately.

Loss of interest in favorite activities over minor things.

Anxiety, restlessness, and insomnia

Other traumatic triggers include losing a job, divorce, or financial reversals such as bankruptcy or home foreclosures. There are so many symptoms (seriously, I am not sure how much I trust WebMD yet I linked it anyway) that can arise from depression’s clutches. As I stated above it honestly differs for everyone. Some of the symptoms that I am challenged with are

  • Not being able to wake up and get out of my bed
  • Anxious thoughts upon waking that put me in a whirlwind of depression
  • Body pains that occur daily and increase with my thoughts
  • Eating disorders
  • Feeling exhausted
  • Extreme emotions, mostly intense crying at everything
  • I have also had suicidal thoughts in high school.

A lot of people have used prescribed medications. Anti-depressants, sleep medications, maybe diets Yet, these are all just symptom relief.

Some go to counselors. They will talk about their feelings which may help for awhile. Other therapists may try relaxation techniques combined with positive affirmations.

Unfortunately, these still do not resolve the deeper underlying causes of depression.

So, How does clinical hypnotherapy treat depression, you ask? 

Well, that doesn’t sound like somewhere I want to go!

I’ll tell you this. It is extremely relaxing and enjoyable. The conscious mind is only 10% of the mind. By entering our subconscious we are addressing the whole person, 100% of our mind than just treating symptoms.

Unresolved feelings, such as resentments, regrets, blame, anger, guilt, jealousy, and fear are stored in the body and must be released as soon after the triggering event as possible. Otherwise they become deeply buried beneath the numbness, addictive behaviors, and the concurrent repression that occurs when trauma and grief go untreated.

With each session clinical hypnotherapy can help replace the fearful repetitive thoughts. Creating positive affirmations will work because the underlying emotional release has been accomplished. Bringing you peace and balance.

Hypnotherapy provides an effective way to access your ability to affect your physical body.  We self-sabotage with our thoughts and behaviors. Through the guided meditations you will notice correcting of restless sleep, low energy, headaches and chronic pain. Can even use hypnotherapy to increase motivation to exercise and eat properly!

Clinical hypnotherapy works for depression because it removes the underlying basis of depression and completes the unfinished business that continues to recycle as self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. You know what I am talking about.

Hypnotherapy can be highly successful, painless, and side effect free!

As a certified hypnotherapist, we can work together to help heal old wounds and patterns, remove unhealthy attachments, codependency, and break habits that prevent you from becoming the greatest version of yourself.

Four Health Benefits of Marriage

By Jenna Clark

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

At times married life can be less than exciting and making you feel very testy towards your significant other. Yet, even when your partner is driving you up the wall, it turns out they might actually be improving your health.

It is true! Turns out that those that are married may have the advantage of health benefits over someone who is single. Now, that does not mean that tying the knot automatically creates a happier healthier you. Clearly divorce rates have sky rocketed. Though some studies show that relationships are at the root of finding joy.


“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Health Benefits Of A Happy Marriage

Numero UnoLower Risk of Cardiovascular Disease. Considering heart disease is one of the main causes of death this is a pretty important factor.

Your stress levels will be lower. It may not seem like it at the time of an argument, but being married actually creates a hormonal change that directly affects stress levels.

Beat it Cancer! This is a bit dramatic yet equally as important, being married boosted survival rates of cancer patients in one study.

You will live longer! Finally, getting hitched could mean that you will live a longer life.

Downside of Marriage

Not to be all against singles by any means. There is one case which marriage doesn’t help: OBESITY. People who tend to be married suffer from higher rates of obesity than singles do. Now we all know obesity is connected to so many health concerns so this can create the opposite affect. It is always important to make healthy choices once you are married.


Final Thoughts

  • Being in a safe, stable marriage can help you live longer, reduce risk of heart disease and reduce stress levels.
  • For those with cancer, being in a healthy loving relationship can increase the odds of you living longer.
  • Con of relationships increases your chances of being obese. So make sure to adopt an active, healthy lifestyle and motivate each other!:)

What are some positive benefits within your relationship? Make sure to comment below and also check out How to Identify & Release a Toxic Relationship.

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The Narcissist doesn’t want your love, they don’t know what love is. They want your admiration and your obedience as a player in their fake make-believe world.

This is a topic that hits close to home. As I researched about human behavior, I realized that the Narcissist was someone I used to date. I noticed some of his characteristics that were alarming, yet was not strong enough to leave, I decided to write this blog post to hopefully help out others that may be in the situation I once was in.

To begin,narcissists lack the basics levels of empathy for others. This includes a constant need for validation, a willingness to control people, and a ruthlessness in getting their needs met. That being said, the narcissist thrives on other’s fear.. Narcissists haven’t learned that the only true power is love-of self, others and the universe. And if you have ever fallen in love with someone like this, you know how painful it can be. 

Now painful relationships can be blessings in disguise. They unwrap our deepest wounds for us to heal. They can free us by helping us reclaim our own power.

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So, how do you know for sure if you’re dealing with a narcissist? Here are 9 signs to look for:

  1. A narcissist will often call you “crazy” (and slowly start to convince you that you are!)  They are known to use “gaslighting,” which is a form of psychological abuse used to create anxiety and confusion. Which creates those to lower their own trust in themselves and their ability to discern what is real and what is healthy.
  2. He or she use your personal insecurities or struggles to make you feel not good enough. Personal insecurities that you may not have otherwise been aware of seem to be a constant source of tension and are often pointed out critically and insensitively.

and she was made to appear crazy by the man who drove her there

-r.h. Sin

3. You’re constantly being blamed. It is NEVER their fault! Narcissists don’t accept that they create their own reality. Instead, they are constantly hurt by your behavior and project the blame onto you. Their responses are triggered by unhealed wounds, so they’re trying to relieve pain, subconsciously, through harmful emotional abuse. DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THEM.

4. Are they hot and heavy in the beginning… The beginning of the relationship is like all of the scorching scenes in Sex and the City! They are all about you and the relationship seems like a fairy tale. We love being pursued and showered with attention by someone charismatic and charming. Whisk us away Prince!

5. Hot and cold. When they have your trust, they will flip on you, pull back, making you feel crazy. Vulnerability? Ha! That would shatter their poor ego.

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Narcissists will destroy your life and erode your self-esteem and do it with such stealth as to make you feel as YOU are the one that is letting them down.

6. Trophy Complex! Does your love interest seem to always come at the right time? Fixing problems like a hero or heroine? Do they have a sense of false image convincing everyone they are truly better than who they really are?

7. You start feeling obsessive, needy or codependent after spending time with this person. Seriously this one is a huge red flag and I know from experience. An em-path’s light is bright; highly sensitive individuals have a high love quotient. We are always there to love and support. Though if you are feeling obsessive, comparing, needy, codependent and definitely drained, JUMP SHIP!

8. Lashing out and behaving like the narcissist. You’re not being heard so we tend to lash out or become reactive in ways similar to the narcissist themselves. Scary!

9. They are genuinely damaged yet not open to healing. They are phenomenal at appearing they are damaged or need our help. It is not your job to save or fix someone! DO NOT FIX THEM!

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Why are we Attracted to Narcissists?

Well, for one, society does a wonderful job of glamorizing these personality types. The Narcissist is the “charmer.” Feeding off of drama and romanticizing over the pain of love.

Connection through pain is the new sexy. 

If you are attracted closely to Narcissistic patterns, You may have childhood trauma you need to heal.

As we grow, we attract partners who reflect our wounds until we heal them. Deep stuff I know, this we can go over in depth in another blog. We create relationships that mirror our past hurts so vividly that we can no longer ignore them.

These relationships show up over and over. They can be romantic or not. This is true when the relationship feels and has similarities to someone you have dated or been in contact with before yet it is a new relationship. 

Time to get down and dirty on healing those deep seeded pains. 

These are growing opportunities, which can allow us to heal so that we have the ability to move into relationships rooted in love and service.

If we are still trying to prove our worth, we attract narcissists.

How do we get out of this mess?

The way out of a narcissistic relationships is not easy, especially when there are deep feelings from your end. They are also manipulative. Yet, it begins with awareness, which if you are reading this I hope that is enough. Follow the awareness by taking responsibility for our actions and feelings learning how to love ourselves enough to LEAVE. What happens when we blame the narcissist for our pain is that we become even more needy and codependent. They will also make us feel bad about ourselves so that we feel we can never do better.

Blame keeps us trapped!

The narcissist is not responsible for our wounds. They may trigger our wounds. What we decide to do with this information is up to us. It is time to gain self love and rise above!

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Strong Is The New Sexy

It is easy to consume fat burners, supplemental shakes, or even starve ourselves. Fast and unhealthy weight loss is a growing obsession these days. Society bombards us with unrealistic body goals on social media, we are part of judgments focused on physical appearance, and we are pressured to be a size zero every time we look in the mirror.

This is all harmful. I felt this pressure even in fifth grade, more so as I got into high school and it even happens now. There was a point of time I became bulimic to try to change my image faster. It wasn’t until I had food allergies and leaky gut syndrome  tearing me up that I realized I can’t do those “quick fixes” and “fast result” weight loss. It isn’t even about weight loss. It is all about gaining health.

I am still trying to heal my relationship with food.

Being a female myself, I know that it is difficult to think positively of ourselves. One thing I have observed for myself is having positive thoughts and feeling good about myself made me feel more confident and much easier to be around.

You are gorgeous! and totally amazing!

Number One: Shoot for no more than 1-2lbs of weight loss per week

It may be upsetting. I know we want instant gratification, especially if there is 50 to 60lbs you want to lose, yet shedding 1-2 per week is going to get you to your goal and help you to stay there. Let’s break it down for ya… One pound is basically 3500 calories. If you lose one pound per week, that means you’ve eaten 3500 fewer calories that week or essentially burned an extra 3500 calories, or a combination!

Two: Weigh yourself no more than once a week.

I have tested this before and noticed that I can weigh myself in the morning and by lunch time I am usually 2-3 lbs heavier! WTF! This can be caused by sodium intake, water loss, dehydration and even hormones. I am aware of this yet there is something about seeing those damn numbers go up and down that my mood takes an emotional roller coaster. This can create a lot of inner turmoil and sabotage your progress. So Quit it! Pick one day a week and time to do your weighing sessions. This will be more reliable.

Another thing to remember is usually the scale starts to go up due to building muscle.Just don’t jump on the scale at all.

Three: Consider taking your body measurements and a photo.

This is way more accurate then a scale. It could take weeks for the scale to reflect your work. Fat cells are  decreasing in size while your muscle cells are growing and getting more dense causing the scale to be higher. If you take your before hip thigh waist and arm measurements as well as your body fat percentage you will more than likely see results on a weekly basis.

Four: Beware of the things that can hinder your success.

We know what we are suppose to avoid. Stress is probably the biggest culprit though. Being stressed about your weight is one of the top reasons we slow down our progress. I know it is difficult. Look into some relaxing techniques such as hypnotherapymeditation, yoga, or even essential oils. Practicing these techniques will help calm your nerves and promote balanced and long-term weight loss!

Also, rapid weight loss is a weight loss killer. It is not healthy to loose 3-4 lbs a week. It lowers your metabolism significantly and PERMANENTLY! Your nutrition becomes depleted which causes energy crashes and cravings, yet also means your weight will be quick to find you again and increasingly more difficult to lose the next time.

With a well-paced approach to weight loss is the first step in developing a healthy relationship with your body. Now that you have the building blocks, we must shift our attention to increasing our self-love and positive self talk!

Want extra guidance to reach your weight loss goals? My weight management hypnotherapy programs are exactly what you need to find success! Message me and I can get you set up after a quick interview so I can find what will best support you!